While visiting the Salt Lake City Cemetery, we decided to drive through the Jewish section. We noticed that almost every head stone had rocks placed on top. We pondered, "What is up with that?" Thanks to modern technology, we pulled out the Droid and searched the internet for the answer to our question.
While the origin of the tradition is unclear, there are many beautiful explanations. Here are some of our favorites.
"When the tradition started, grave monuments were mounds of stones. Visitors added stones to "the mound" to show we are never finished building the monument to the deceased."
"The most common explanation is that placing stones is a symbolic act that indicates someone has come to visit and the deceased has not been forgotten."
"The Jewish custom is not to bring flowers to the graves, but instead to place a simple stone on the gravestone itself. Rather than spend money on flowers ― which do nothing for a loved one ― it is better to give money in the person's memory to tzedakah, which helps to elevate the person's soul. We place a small stone upon the gravestone as a sign that we were there ― not so the person who passed away will know, for their soul already has awareness. But so that we will know. We, who are physical, need physical acts to express the reality that we are indeed there. The stone is the "calling card" of the visitor. Flowers die, but the small, simple stone, a symbol of eternity, represents our eternal devotion to upholding the memory of our beloved. Our connection lives on and will never die."
We are unable to find our original result but somewhere we read that whenever you visited a place and something stirred you to remember a loved one, you would pick up a stone. You would keep it with you until you visited the grave of that loved one. Then you would place the stone on the headstone as a token of the wish that you could have shared that moment with each other.
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